Emotional Intelligence – the stuff that relationships are made of
What is EI anyway? It is the ability of effectively recognizing, assessing and managing the emotions of oneself and others. It is often measured as a quotient, Emotional Quotient (EQ).
Although Emotional Intelligence (EI) is widely accepted as a relatively new field of study, perhaps the first treatise on this super-important subject was The expression of the emotions in man and animals – Charles Darwin – 1872. Darwin's work was, as described in the title of his book, centered around how man and animal express (and perceive) emotions – and his theories on how it influenced their survival and adaptation.
Today, EI encompasses a wider area of study with many thinkers and researchers having contributed much toward giving structure and a more comprehensive meaning to its importance in day-to-day life.
EI is so powerful that it can influence every aspect of our lives – either toward the better or the worse, depending on which end of the spectrum we find ourselves in. Some people are successful in whatever they do, simply because of the powerful influence they have on other peoples emotions and the mastery of their own. It is important to realize that a mere understanding of other peoples emotions is insufficient. It is also essential to be able to express ones own emotions in an effective way while recognizing, influencing and controlling the emotions of others.
Being what it is, EI is a very powerful force in the arena of dating and relationships. Those who have great quantities of it are very successful in initiating and maintaining relationships as opposed to those who are not so blessed. To instinctively 'know' the emotions of your partner or someone you are interested in is definitely a very sexy quality to possess!
It must be borne in mind, however, that a mere failure of a relationships does not imply that one has a low Emotional Quotient (EQ). Relationships are a mutual bond and it requires mutual effort. If one is doing everything right while their partner does everything wrong, it is very unlikely that the relationship would survive – even if it was worth the effort!
The encouraging aspect of EQ is that it can be improved over time and each of us has the ability to improve our own EQ. Just like the acquisition of any other talent or quality, EQ can only be enhanced by recognizing one's weaknesses and striving toward overcoming them.